I was a lover...Before this war

AHHHHHHH I MUST VENT ANGER/FRUSTRATION/DISPAIR

my ex girlfriend is trying to kill me.....with her evil words of heart wrenching coldness. I just cant believe its the same person sometimes..............

but i will do what every self-respecting guy does in this situation, go out, get drunk, hit on a friend, maybe a stranger, stumble home. wish me luck

today has been shite - woke up laaaate. Watched a documentary on john coltrane from bed, made the single best cup of tea ever, seriously...mind-blowing. Cleaned my room, realised i am the only one in the flat this weekend...which sucks, wrote this. I STILL havent been outside today!!Crap - going to take a bath, eat some food and go and meet a friend after she finishes work for a night in london i think.

Ive got this horrible feeling in my stomach from not eating enough and thinking about my ex-girlfriend too much! Bit of a lonely day but thats alright....ish.

Must eat

so this is it. this is a bit weird and very uncomfortable but something about it seems right. Ive never really understood blogs or why people would want to but recently i have thought about it alot and here i am. I often think about keeping a diary or writing stuff down but putting something out seems different and i suppose a bit scarier. I have no idea how anyone would ever find this to read anyway?! but the thought of a complete stranger on the other side of the world reading this is in a very odd way - comforting. Dont know how this will go but just wanted to get something down.